23 April 2013

C'est la vie

I was this close to naming this post/outfit 'Pugs, not Drugs', in relation to my sweater. But since there are more serious things that I'd like to tackle, 'c'est la vie' seemed a lot more appropriate.


C'est la vie is French for 'That's life.' Words cannot express - cannot justify - just how relevant this is to me. I have always lead life with both hands firmly gripping the steering wheel. No one was going to take control of my life but me, and even as a child, I knew this already. I have long convinced myself that I was going to make things happen, regardless of whether or not it was for myself or others. I was and still am hellbent on making this idea come true.

Lately, however, I have found myself allowing nature to take its own course. Don't get me wrong; I'm not letting go of the steering wheel. It's more like sitting back in the driver's seat with auto-pilot on, taking the time out to relax, think things over, reevaluate my life so far, and enjoy the view as I am driven (albeit slowly) to where I need to be. As scary as it may sound, some things are just out of our control, and forcing the matter into our hands will only worsen the current situation. Que sera, sera (whatever will be, will be). We will always end up right where we are meant to be, regardless of whether or not the present proves to makes sense. It all will in the end, anyway, right? That's what they all say.

That's what I'm trying to convince myself.

Even though I am slowly learning to let go one day at the time (with the quotes "if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be" and "if it's meant to be, it will be" in mind), I still can't help but grieve over the friendship lost and memories disregarded like used tissues. And I know, I know... Some people walk into your life to teach you a lesson, yadda yadda yadda. It's just disappointing to know that the last person you expected to, the one you trusted the most out of everyone (excluding my mother), the one who knew you better more than you knew yourself, would just walk out of your life for such a shallow reason. Just like that. Boom. Gone.

I think it's safe to say that everyone has gone through a similar situation at least once in their life. We've all lost a friend before. Some moved on to bigger and brighter things quicker than others. Some remained hung up. I've lost a lot of friends before, and it never took me too long to bounce back into my usual self (seeing as I've never held grudges). However, I'm afraid I'll never fully get over losing a best friend quite like this one.

But I'll try. I will always care for the said person, like how an older sister would to a sibling, but to remain friends would do us no good. We are better off this way, having ended in a mutual understanding (or so I hope) that the friendship is no longer working out. We are lucky enough to have closure, as opposed to the friendship just fading away with numerous questions unanswered, and countless 'what ifs' haunting our minds.

I cannot thank you (you know who you are) for all the memories - both the good and bad. You have taught me a lot of things, life lessons that I will carry on with me into adulthood. You have helped me learn more about myself and the world than any other person aside from my mother, whether or not you know it. And while I am slightly disappointed that you were the first to go and the one I least expected to leave, I wish you all the best. I hope that you will stand by your decisions and be happy with whatever road it leads you to. The choices you make are final, and there is no turning back now at this point. Please never forget all the good my family and I have done for you, and we won't forget what you have done for us either. And to my readers: if any of you are going through or have gone through, or think they will soon go through a similar situation, I hope you guys have picked up a thing or two from this post. If things ended badly, then be the better person. No petty indirects or vulgar Facebook statuses, regardless if they're doing it to you. Vindication awaits you. Karma, you know? Hahaha. If you can't respect the person, then respect the friendship/relationship you had with the person. Always remember that things happen for a reason. Not just any reason either, but a good one. I can't tell you exactly what it's for, as I don't know either, but I promise you that it will all make sense one day, and that the people in your life and the ones who have long gone will and have served a purpose to lead you right where you belong. Love and appreciate the people in your life, seeing as tomorrow they might no longer be there (not necessarily death, but you catch my drift, right?).

But then again, if they leave, then allow them to be just another lesson learned. C'est la vie.

On a less serious note, I have no sleep which explains the super duper deep post. I'm doing my best to follow my own advice written above, and I think I suck at it. But whatevs. Pugs, not drugs, right? I braved the Philippine heat earlier on this morning, in this more European vacation-appropriate outfit, trying my best not to sweat like a pig. I bought the sweater in Australia, where the weather was still cold enough for me to wear it during the day and not die of a heatstroke. Wearing it in the Philippines, however, is an entirely different story. The Philippines is a country-sized sauna at full blast.

P.S.: I made a stop motion video with photos from today!

Bracelets from Oohlala Monster, Beret c/o Halukay Ukay, Pom-pom flats from Miu Miu

26 comments:

  1. Such an inspiration! I have been going through a lot of things, including problems with friends. But it's true, you have to let them go. Even if it hurts, you have to deal with it like a man, and just be happy for them. This post made me realized that. Thanks a bunch ate Nina! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw things will always work out in the end :)

      Delete
  2. I would like to give a huge thumbs up to that "The Philippines is a country-sized sauna at full blast." line.

    ReplyDelete
  3. grabe! ang galing mong magsulat. 14 ka pa ba talaga? ^__^

    ReplyDelete
  4. How do you come up with your blogs? I mean, its so nice reading it. :))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sleep deprivation and outside sources hehe

      Delete
  5. This is such a very great post. God knows I can't find the right words to say that this is such an inspiring post and that people should read this. Thanks for this post, I've truly learned a lot from this. :) More power and more inspiring posts to come. :">

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is the most inspiring blog post i've ever read. Two thumbs up for your inspiring post and your outfit!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You've got impeccable timing... this is so relevant in my life right now. Thanks for all the advices! I'll sure try to follow them! (and probably use some of them as quotes hihihi) Also, I'd like to add how courageous and selfless it is of you to post something like this not just for your benefit, but for he benefit of others as well. (AND YOU WRITE REALLY REALLY WELL LIKE I CANNOT BEGIN TO EVEN)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I hope everything will sort out on your end!

      Delete
  8. YOUR CAPTIONS ARE REALLY INTENSELY ENLIGHTENING.

    I REALLY DO HAVE TO USE 'CAPSLOCK' BECAUSE YOU ARE BLESSED THAT YOU CAN EXPLAIN YOUR EMOTIONS AND FEELING INTO WORDS.
    HEHE. LOVE YOU NINA. STAY AWESOME AND DON'T MIND YOU HATERS. THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS! :)

    stylishzai.blogspot.com :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cute jumper! You look so sweet

    www.laurensibs.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi ! I super loved all of your outfit! Its so nice to look at. :))
    would you like to visit my blog. and follow me? and ill go follow back too! :))

    its: www.zelaldecoa.blogspot.com

    thankyou so much Godbless! xx :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. I kinda felt the sadness of the bg music on your stop music video. It's as if it was you telling me/us how hurt you are regarding your current situation. I was once in that situation. I had this bestfriend of mine (back when i was in highschool) whom i admired and loved so dearly, too much actually. We were always together and we've always been happy w each other, like crazily happy. It's as if we were born to be bestfriends. But it came to a point where i've unintentionally hurt her.. I was hurt too by what i did. I've cried tons of tears, it was very devastating to see us drifting apart. No matter how much i've apologized, it just wouldn't be the same. It was hard, really really hard to lose someone that you used to be with everyday, someone whom you share your top most secret (if there is), someone who've seen you at your worst and still loves you just the same. But, we just had to let go. It will only hurt more if we insisted on being friends again, bec we knew that, as i've mentioned earlier, nothing will ever be the same.. We ended just fine. We say hi/hello whenever we see each other along the corridors but i miss her everyday. Up to this day, i still think abt her and our happy memories. The agony will end, but your memories won't. You might have chosen to part ways now but in your hearts, you'll never ever forget that you were once the best thing in each other's life. You're still young. You'll meet a lot of people on your journey. Don't be afraid to trust but don't be too giving that people will abuse your kindness.. You're a smart girl, Nina. You inspire me despite our age gap, i am now 22 yrs old. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could not have agreed more with what you have said! Hopefully you and your ex-best friend learned from your given situation. Thank you very much for the kind words, Angel!

      And with regards this line: "Don't be afraid to trust but don't be too giving that people will abuse your kindness.."

      My mom has always said to save some for yourself. So here's me saving some for myself, yeah? :)

      Delete
  12. Hello Nina! I've been visiting your blog since I learned last year that you are part of the One Direction Philippines team. I would just like to say that this is beautiful and it is well-written. You are such a good writer, model and the like. I like the way you dress so much! I hope to meet you someday. I'm a year younger than you, just saying. :) Another thing is that, that kind of situation has happened to me to and it sucks, and I'm sorry that it happened to you too. But, you know, that's life's road.:) God bless!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nina, I know I've said this bajilion times ever since you posted this but I want to say (again) that you inspire me a lot. I'm so in love with this blog post.You're such a nice role model, I love you foreverrrrrrrrrrr ♥

    ReplyDelete
  14. This blog post struck me hard cause it just happened to me 2 days ago. We still are friends, but you know, some things can just never be the same after what's been done. I, like everyone who's ever read your blog, am inspired by all your words and am amazed of how you've written each and every blogpost. Continue to surprise and inspire us, Nina ☺

    ReplyDelete
  15. You're an amazing person, Nina! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. When you said that Philippines is a country-sized sauna at full blast I immediately missed the heat that I grew up with. You are right Nina, people you meet does have something to teach you... Anyway, I love this blog post Nina. I learned a lot of lessons..


    Love, Katrina
    katrinawrites07.blogspot.jp

    ReplyDelete